While all direction given by the Dominant/Top is consensual, you get to feel the benefits of taking away all responsibility other than to fulfil the commands of your partner (power exchange). If you are someone who has trouble allowing yourself to experience pleasure, submitting to your partner gives you the opportunity to indirectly allow yourself to experience your sexual desires guilt-free. There is something so seductively sweet about surrendering sexually to your partner. And this is where exploring sexual Power Play can bring in such a beautiful balance to our lives that we never knew we needed. It is common (though not always the case) for those who live very fast-paced lives, such as working a high-demand job, to crave the opportunity to let that all go and surrender to someone else’s authority, while those who tend to lead slower day-to-day lives, may enjoy the opportunity to step into their power in a way that feels safe for them to do so. A lot of this comes from living such busy lives, where we’re not used to slowing down, and despite living in an increasingly liberated world, shame is a huge part of not expressing ourselves in the way we truly desire.īut Power Play can give us the opportunity to let these external factors go, and provide a safe space to indulge in our fantasies without fear or judgement. Many of us are still very much in our heads during sex, unable to feel as though we can really step into our authentic selves. But for many of us this might not feel like the case. So I’ve explained what it is, but what is the point in Power Play? Sex should be a space when we get to truly connect with our partner, to feel vulnerable yet safe to express our authentic selves, and it’s also a space to release tension and close the door to the outside world, if only for a short while. Whether this dynamic is a very subtle one or it leans more towards S&M (sadist & masochistic) fantasies is entirely dependent on your own desires. To put it simply, it’s a bit like doing a dance – the Top leads during sex and the bottom follows, and when both roles are in sync, what you get is a beautiful connection between two people. But Power Play can also be enjoyed without having to include the other elements of BDSM, and so each role may be referred to as simply the ‘Top’ and ‘bottom’. Power Play is most commonly known as a form of BDSM (Bondage, Dominance, Sadism & Masochism), where one person takes on the role of Dominant, and the other submissive. Power Play is a beautiful way to create excitement in the bedroom as well as bring a sense of balance into your life Here our KINK ambassador Sarah Butcher AKA Sub in the City shares her guide to power play as she walks you through what Power Play is and how to use this dynamic to explore your deepest desires with your partner. Do you enjoy the thought of giving or receiving orders in the bedroom? Perhaps it really turns you on to hear your partner tell you exactly how they want you, or seeing your partner surrender to your command creates a burning desire in you that you can’t quite explain?
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